


The Spones Master Plan

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Kirk/Uhura happened out of no where but oh well, Kissing, Matchmaking, Multi, Online Dating, Vulcan Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 22:13:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10500498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jim and Nyota make a plan. Bones makes a discovery. Spock gets dragged along for the ride. None of them mind so much in the end.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Declaimer: I'm a college student, not a director! All credit goes to Roddenberry and Abrams.

On Fridays Jim and Leonard often found they had Alpha shift together, followed by Gamma shifts on Saturday. This gave them four shifts off in a row, which they often spent together having what Nyota called their “Masculine Sleepovers”. This particular Friday beta shift, had Leonard sprawled across Jim’s couch with a padd propped upon his stomach. Jim, having gave up any attempt to reclaim his couch was laying on the floor napping.

The silence of the room was broken when Leonard sat up abruptly, kicking his foot out towards his friend. Jim jerked awake with a snort when Leonard’s foot hit his shin.

“Ow,” Jim muttered, rubbing his bruised shin while also trying to sooth his dry throat.

“Kid, come look at this,” Leonard said, his excitement nearly plateable.

Jim pulled himself up on the couch by his elbows, as Leonard didn’t seem keen on giving his friend much room for anything else. Wondering what had the grumpy doctor in such a good mood Jim looked at the padd. Jim had to suppress a smirk at what he saw. 

Turning to his friend with a blank face Jim said, “So, Spock’s got a dating profile, huh? Makes since I guess, him and Uhura broke up. Maybe he feels a little lonely.”  
Leonard turned an incredulous look towards his friend. “Jim, you’re joking, right? He’s a Vulcan! No way he set this profile up himself!”

Jim just shrugged, “Maybe Uhura made it to get back at him.” Jim knew Uhura would do no such thing but he was enjoying his friend’s frustration at his lack of reaction. 

Jim saw Leonard’s face contort and knew if he wanted this to work, interception was needed. “Why do you care so much, Bones?”

Leonard’s temper simmered down before launching back up. Jim smirked to himself as the articulate telling off Leonard had prepared fell into useless, angry, incoherent stuttering.

“-and if this, if this starts another of those, those prank wars! I’m telling you Jim, I’m not, do you hear me, not, going to help any of the fools who wander into my med bay.”

Jim shook his head, “Bones, what are you even talking about at this point.”

Leonard blinked as his words trailed off. “Damnit Jim, weren’t you listening! This is probably someone trying to start a prank war! Far be it for me to care that they’ve targeted the Vulcan but when this spreads, and prank wars spread worse than the Gangorian clap on this ship, I’m not helping.”

Jim rolled his eyes before laying back down on the floor. “I’m taking a nap but if you’re so worried about this dating profile why don’t you go ask Spock about it. I’m sure if it’s a prank war he’ll stop it in its tracks.”

Leonard opened his mouth to argue but Jim let out the most obnoxious fake snore every heard and he knew his friend was all but useless at this point.

Leonard got up from the couch and Jim wasted no time launching up to reestablish his territory. Leonard snorted to himself, “Yeah, you’re knocked out asleep alright.”

\---

Leonard’s search for Spock wasn’t exactly a hard one, Spock tended to work in the lab during Beta shift. Leonard hesitated outside of lab 5 to watch Spock work. When he determined that Spock wasn’t working with something dangerous or at any particularly volatile parts, he entered.

Spock turned as he heard the sound of the door opening. Seeing it was Leonard he asked, “Dr. McCoy, I understand you usually spend your off hours on Fridays and Saturdays with the captain. Is there a problem I should be appraised too?”

Leonard jerked, not expecting Spock’s question. “Ah, no, no problem. Well I guess that depends on your definition of a problem.”

At Spock’s raised eyebrow Leonard continued, “I was searching for more information on the Axanar and noticed the similarity between their lungs and the lungs of Vulcans. Since there is more information known about the Vulcan respiratory system I thought looking into that would provide answers. Point is, I came across your name in a paper and accidently searched it. The third result pulled up was of a dating profile. I told Jim you probably didn’t make it and thought I’d inform you of it in case.”

Spock’s face remained blank up until the dating profile was mentioned, at which point his eyebrow raised. “I thank you for bringing this to my attention Doctor, as I did not in fact create this profile. May I see your padd?”

Leonard handed his padd to the half Vulcan and Spock took a moment to look over the profile. After a few minutes of fiddling a subtle pleased expression took over his face.

Seeing the doctor’s look of curiosity Spock explained, “Whoever set up the account must be close to me as they knew my email password and used the same password for my dating profile. I now have access to the account.”

Leonard leaned forward to take a look but Spock moved the padd just out of his view. Leonard narrowed his eyes, “Now, Mr. Spock, it’s rude not to share.”

“Doctor I do believe my personal business is at my own discretion to disclose.” Spock said as he pulled the padd further away.

“You wouldn’t even know it was your personal business if I hadn’t shown you!” Leonard made a grab for the padd.

The movement actually managed to surprise Spock who relinquished the padd to the doctor. Victorious Leonard looked down at the padd. In his mad grab from the device, he managed to pull up the messaging app on the webpage.

Leonard smirked at the Vulcan, “Well, lookie here, you’ve got four unread messages. Let’s see, Annalise wants to know if you’re really Starfleet. Aiden doesn’t seem to believe you’re really a Vulcan. Amber wants to know if you’re DTF and –“

Spock cocked his head slightly as the doctor paused. “Dr. McCoy,” He asked, “is there something wrong?”

Leonard locked his jaw before looking at Spock. “Yeah, Spock, there is something wrong. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go kill the captain now.”

Leonard slammed his padd down on the lab bench and marched from the room.

Spock reached out for the padd and examined it hoping to find what had set the doctor off. Within the messaging app were, as the doctor said, four messages. One from Annalise, one from Aiden, one from Amber and one from a Dr. Leonard Horatio “Bones” McCoy. The message simply stated, ‘What are the odds we’d match? What do you say Mr. Spock? Wanna give it a spin?’

Curiosity overcame the Vulcan and he clicked on the profile. Spock knew immediately the profile was not made by the doctor as the opening line of the GET TO KNOW ME box said ‘I think the nickname Bones explains itself ; )"

Spock, who was beginning to understand what was happening left for the captain’s quarters. He was not surprised to find the captain and doctor in a verbal argument. He was also not surprised to discover Nyota there, as he had already figured that if Jim made Leonard’s profile, then she had made his. What was surprising was that Nyota seemed to be protecting the captain from the doctor.

Spock cleared his throat and the corridor went silent, any crewmembers who were loitering in the hallway dispersed. “I believe we should take this into a more private setting, perhaps the captain’s quarters?”

Jim nodded his consent and the four made their way into the room.

Leonard barely waited for the door to shut before tearing back into the captain. “Well, Jim, you never gave me an answer. Why’d you, do it?”

Nyota and Jim shared a look. Jim motioned for her to speak and she glared at him. Jim broke out his puppy dog eyes and Nyota rolled hers but consented. She grabbed Leonard and Spock by their upper arms and seated them on the couch before speaking. “Look, you two flirt, constantly, and after that show on the bridge you two gave, you know the one where Lenny said you were the best first officer and the Vulcan ears thing, Jim and I thought you two would be happy together.”

Leonard blushed, “Look I appreciate the concern but what was the plan here?”

Jim coughed and when the attention of the room turned to him he said, “It actually fell into place by accident. If you hadn’t found it by the end of Beta shift I would have ‘found’ it myself. I’ll admit Nyota and I thought ourselves a bit craftier than we were. We weren’t supposed to get caught.”

“That would be your fault, Jim.” Nyota said, laughing as she gave the captain an exaggerated wink. Both Leonard and Spock decided they didn’t want to know when Jim had gotten permission to call her Nyota.

Spock brought the conversation back on track. “This seems like an extreme measure to go to in order to bring the doctor and myself together.”

Nyota looked at Jim, who looked at the floor. “We may have been slightly drunk,” Nyota admitted slowly as she turned away from Jim. 

Leonard decided, once again, that he didn’t want to know and stood up to leave. “Next time,” he said, “stay out of our love lives.”

Spock followed the doctor from the room leaving Jim and Nyota alone.

“Well that worked perfectly,” Jim said as he plopped on the couch.

Nyota who was already seated turned to her captain. “It could have gone worse,” She said. “They at least know now. It won’t be long till they admit their feelings.”

Jim nodded and the two sat in silent contemplation before Jim spoke up. “You know, with Bones mad at me, I won’t have anyone to hang out with over my four shift, err, well, now, three shift break.”

Nyota raised her brow, “and?”

Jim swallowed, “I hear you’re free till Beta tomorrow. Want to spend it with me?”

Nyota smirked as she leaned in towards Jim. Jim looked like a mouse caught by the cat as Nyota whispered in his ear, “I’d like nothing more Captain.”

\---

Out in the corridor Spock managed to intercept Leonard and drag him back towards the first officer’s quarters. Once in privacy the two men sized each other up but neither was willing to speak first. Finally, Spock handed Leonard the padd that started all this.

Leonard looked down and in replay to ‘his’ message was, ‘I believe our odds are high. I would say yes but I have no idea how spinning correlates to a relationship.’

Leonard laughed, “You are such a shit, Spock.”

Spock opened his mouth but Leonard didn’t allow him to finish before he sealed their mouths together. Pulling back from the kiss, Leonard whispered, “Don’t act like you don’t know what I meant. I’ve got your number Mr. Spock.”

Spock pulled back further but brought his arms up around the doctor's waist. “So, you do Doctor, so you do.”

Spock pulled Leonard into another kiss and the doctor couldn't even find it in himself to care that he hadn't gotten the last word, yet again.

\---

Alpha shift on Sunday was the first-time Jim, Nyota, Leonard, and Spock were working the same shift since, what Jim privately called, the “Spones Master Plan”. 

When Leonard visited the bridge, Jim turned to greet his friend only to find himself ignored. The southern doctor instead walked over to the Vulcan who held out his first two fingers. Leonard matched the gesture and before Jim knew it, Nyota was reaching over to grab him.

Nyota continued to drag him off the bridge all the while saying, “Excuse me Captain but I need to speak to you, may we go to your ready room? Great!”

When the door to Jim’s ready room closed behind them Jim turned to Nyota.

“What was that?” He asked.

“That was Vulcan kissing! They were Vulcan kissing!” Nyota said as she grabbed Jim by the shoulders.

Jim’s smile knocked the air out of Nyota’s lungs and the hug that followed nearly suffocated her. Jim pulled back and Nyota could see the apology on his tongue. She intercepted it. 

When they pulled apart, Jim asked, “What was that?”

“That was human kissing.” Nyota replied, as she pulled him back toward the bridge.

When the two returned to the bridge, the crew took great enjoyment in determining who was blushing harder, Doctor McCoy or Captain Kirk, while Spock and Nyota spent the rest of their shift trading smug glances behind the two men’s backs.

**Author's Note:**

> Spones got a little side tracked by Jim and Uhura, but I guess that's what I get for leaving them alone in a room together.


End file.
